Revised Resolutions

Now that Christmas has come and gone (and may I say a very late Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all) we are quickly approaching the end of the first decade of the 21st century. It seems customary to make a Resolutions list for the New Year as well as the New Decade.

Now, I’m never usually one for list making, and when I do make lists, they either never get completed or they become revised lists as I work my way through them. These lists of so-called “Resolutions” usually never come to fruition for most people because these lists usually involve the words “quit” or “stop” or “do” or don’t” or “more” or “less”. These rigid standards make it nearly impossible to accomplish. So, In the spirit of the New Year, I’ve comprised my Revised Resolutions, that will probably become revised yet again after the new year begins. Onward we go…

• Quit Smoking Smoke less than 2009, but more than the word “quit” implies
• Exercise More Actually use the new Wii Fit, but forget about “normal” exercise because it’ll never happen
• Eat Healthy Eat the lettuce and tomatoes on those fast food burgers
• Drink Less Coffee One cup of coffee a day is plenty
• Watch Less Television Get up and pace during the commercial breaks
• Learn to Play the Guitar Attempt to Learn to Play the Guitar
• Use the Computer Less Get up and walk around every few hours
• Be Happy More Be Sad Less, because this can actually be accomplished